So yesterday I woke up and decided to chop my hair off. I had been thinking about it for months but yesterday’s impulsiveness felt different. I got out of bed and immediately started deep conditioning my hair in order to prepare for the big event. Was I going to do a full big chop? Did I really know what I was doing? I know my years of hair modeling would make or break this moment, lol. A part of me wanted to message all of the stylists I’ve worked with for help, but I didn’t want to be talked out of it. I had to make a “f*ck it” decision and live with the consequences. I needed some validity behind the adulthood that I’ve been feeling so weird about lately.
I think it was because I hadn’t taken scissors to my hair since 2014 when I first found out I was pregnant. The ancestral superstitions echoed deep into my postpartum. I never questioned why, I just never did it. I let everything over the last 18 months linger in my hair; I let things get tangled in my hair and also my spirit. My head was heavy literally and figuratively.
Anyways, as my deep conditioner was setting, I was looking for the shears. We still haven’t completely settled in our new home so sh*t is really just everywhere still. I made it pretty far organizing my hair and makeup products, but let’s be real– who really finishes organizing that stuff? But seriously, where are the shears? I legit couldn’t find them! This is when the real panic kicked in. I had already made my social media announcements, so I had to follow through. People were waiting, right? Probably not, but my last tweet before all the festivities started was:
“Stop saying what you’re going to / finna / about to do and just do it.” -KEILAdascope
Again, I had to follow through. Not for anyone else, but for myself. I demanded that my boyfriend go get me some shears, immediately. It was an emergency! He did, without complaint, but with slight concern for my current state of sanity, lol. It was time! I washed out the Deep Conditioning Mask by BIOLAGE and parted my hair in four sections. At first I tried to pretend like I knew what I was doing but finally I just started cutting away.
I did it! Snip, snip, snip. It felt liberating. I wanted to keep going but I thought about how I would have to budget in a weekly or bi-weekly line-up in my mani & pedi fund and was not about that life.
I love it. I feel lighter, more free. I feel 25! But per usual, what does that even feel like? My quarter life crisis/ and mini-meltdown turned into a makeover and full day of pampering! So now, stay tuned for my next blog where I show you what new goodies I got to play with!