Well, guys, we made it to October! My Summer flew by and I honestly don’t know where August and September went. Okay, September went to a lot. I also celebrated my daughter’s 6th birthday and wow, what a feeling. I am thankful to be her Momma!
A lot of people have been asking how it feels to have a six-year old, and I’m like sh*t… the same way it’s been feeling (awesome) but six is truly a rite of passage age. She is no longer a toddler, she’s still a child, but she is at the age I vividly remember being. Do I see myself in her? Yes, however, I see a lot of her in her. As I am on my own healing journey, I often watch her navigate the world in awe. The things she says, the way she processes her thoughts and emotions, and how she communicates. It’s truly an honor to be able to be a part of her growth. I truly love being a Momma! There are so many great things that come with motherhood.
I often get caught up in conversations with women who are like ” I want to have kids when my finances are right”, “I wanted to wait to have kids until I did XYZ” and honestly, I always feel so insecure in that type of dialogue. I had all of these dreams about how and when I wanted to do this. It didn’t quite go as planned but we are here now and would I do it again? I would! To me, there is no right time to do anything. Our timing is not always ours. The biggest feat that I want to master outside of being a Good Momma right, is being a conducive co-parent. Learning how to navigate not only my feelings but my ego. These are the conversations I can handle right now.
Another good chunk of my September was spent fighting off the urges to go back to the wonderful world of 9 to 5’ing. This month had me missing the material luxury that I was able to provide for myself when I worked a traditional job. Then I realized the luxury that I provide for myself right now is actually peace. I am less moody…I am less uhh… depressed, I guess you can say. The way I feel as a full-time creative versus how I used to feel in a formal work setting with a uniform and a punch sheet is so different. My mental health has truly benefitted from taking a leap of faith– but if I could give any advice to anyone thinking about quitting a place of financial security, I’d say…don’t do that shit. I’m kidding, lol!
There’s no right way to test your faith. The most universal advice that I could give is to write it all down. Everything that comes to mind when you think about free-falling into a world of the unknown needs to be written so you can see it. I go back and read notes from my 20s and laugh at how I’m living a good chunk of those goals that I set for myself. It shows me that I can really create the vision that I want for myself I just have to trust in someone else’s timing.
So, hello October! I am here and I am present. I plan to ride out this last quarter with better faith, a better work ethic, and I am welcoming wealth and abundance. I am continuing my healing journey and whatever journey life has for me that is for the greater good.
With Love,
Keila