I am addicted to my phone. Seriously. After reading countless of articles on how to not check my phone first thing in the morning, or take it into the bathroom, check it at red lights, I gave up. Instead, I decided to figure out a way to include my phone in my daily routine without cluttering my head space.
There’s an app for everything. So with realizing this, I decided to search for something that would not only cancel out the need for checking my social media in the morning but allow me to balance my thoughts, too! And I know, I know. I can easily just move my phone away from the bed and journal in the morning instead, but honestly, I don’t feel like picking up a pen and writing every day like I used to. (This is by no means no excuse for you to be okay with not writing as much. Don’t be like me, be better!) With admitting that, I have to start slow and turn my vices into victories!
Here are three apps that I recommend for getting your zen on no matter where you are or what time it is:
19 by Adele got me through my first break-up. Although the album had already been out for awhile, I would croon “Chasing Pavements” in my college apartment hoping it would make me whole again. It didn’t. After a bunch of dating upsets, I realized that Adele was not my Whitney, my Lauryn, my Erykah, my Mariah, nobody. She had some dope songs, but none of them liberated me. She didn’t make me feel how my mom felt when she heard “I Can Love You” by Mary J. Blige and Lil’ Kim. She didn’t bring me up from my pool of tears, ever.
However, one ironic day, my Adele Pandora station decided to let me know that Adele was invited to The Cookout by playing “Single Ladies” by Beyonce, and something clicked.
As I reflect on the 13th anniversary of my Grandfather’s transition, my 25 year old new Mom self has realized that his witty proverbs, foreshadowing, and subliminal life hacks have rung to be true. I’m sure my entire family and I could compile a whole book of his idioms and quotes. Some are Caribbean proverbs that many of you may be familiar with if you grew up with island grand parents like I did, and some were just genuine words of wisdom.
I love tea. I love the ambience of “ooh girl uh uh” and “no he/she didn’t.” However, when those small expressions recently came my way, I really had to evaluate my communication and topics of conversation amongst my folks. My kinfolks, friend folks, allat.
Gossip (n): casual or unconstrained conversation about other people, typically involving details which are not confirmed to be true.
1. Depression is still a taboo subject for Black folks.
I had to address this first, as it is bigger than what we make it. We can talk, laugh, dance, gossip, do libations, but when the subject of any type of depression arises we go mute. In our culture, we believe that enduring things such as, ya know… slavery, segregation, losing Whitney, Luther, and Michael, prohibits us from going through anything like depression. While these of course are events that some of us may have survivor’s remorse for, these are incomparable to the struggles of mental health in our communities. Especially in Black women. Especially in Black mothers. Continue reading →